Women opens her door to a complete stanger.
After a long period of trying, The Jones found out they were unable to conceive children. So they decided to use a surrogate father to start their new family. It was Friday and the proxy father was scheduled to arrive, Mr. Jones kissed his wife goodbye and said, “Well, I’m off now. The guy should be here soon.”
About fifteen minutes later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
“Good Afternoon”, he said, “I’ve come to…”
“Oh, no need for you to explain sir,” Mrs. Jones cut in, embarrassed, “I’ve been expecting you.”
“Oh really?” said the photographer. “Well, that’s great! Did you know babies are my specialty?”
“Well that’s what my husband John and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat on the couch”
After a few moments of silence she asked, blushing, “Well, where do we start?”
“Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.”
“Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work out for John and me!”
“Well, I’m sorry Ma’am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.”
“My, that’s a lot!” gasped Mrs. Jones.
“In my line of work a man has to take his time. I’d love to be in and out in five minutes, but I’m sure you’d be disappointed with that.”
“Don’t I know it,” said Mrs. Jones quietly.
The photographer opened his bag and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. “This was done on the top of a school bus,” he said.
“Oh my Goodness!” Mrs. Jones exclaimed.
“And these twins turned out exceptionally well – when you consider the mom was annoying and difficult to work with.”
“She was difficult?” asked Mrs. Jones.
“Yes, Ma’am. I finally had to take her to the playground to get the job done right. People were crowding around five and six deep to get a good look.”
“Five and six deep?” said Mrs. Jones, her eyes wide as they can be.
“Yes”, the photographer replied. “And It was for more than two hours, too. The mom was constantly squealing and yelling – I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.”
Mrs. Jones leaned forward. “WHAT? Do you mean they actually chewed on your, um… equipment?”
“OMG!, yes… Well, if you’re ready, I’ll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.”
“Tripod?!?!?!”
“Ummmm yes, Ma’am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too heavy to be held in the hand very long.”
With that, Mrs. Jones fainted.
